A Few Good Men...Abby's Funeral Day

Matt surprised me two nights ago when he told me he wanted to read the eulogy at Abby’s funeral mass.  Parents just don’t do that; but he really wanted to.  He told me that I took care of her for 9 months and most of her 4 days of life; he wanted to do this as his gift to her.  Matt said, “If you write it, I’ll read it”.  So, together we sat down and talked about what our girl meant to us and to our family.

My Connor is just four years old.  He’s spent the past two days preparing for “Abby’s special Mass”.  When we explained about the casket and the procession, he insisted that he would help his uncles carry the casket in.  “I have to because I’m the big brother.  I have to carry my baby down the aisle.” 

Seriously, I thought to myself, what are these guys trying to do to me?  As it turns out, they both rose to the occasion like you could only imagine.  My husband, who is the life of the party but not what you would call a great public speaker, gave the most beautiful, touching eulogy for our angel.  My son, who sometimes hides behind me going up for Communion, proudly held the handle of his sister’s casket and walked her down the aisle.  He looked like such a handsome little man.  These two guys made me so proud today- thank you Abby, for bringing out the best in your dad and big brother.  Their love for you really shone through today.

I wish I had a picture of Connor “doing his job” as he put it, but I don’t.  Below is the Eulogy Matt gave today.

Prayer is powerful.  We often pray to God when we’re asking Him for something, begging Him in our most desperate hours.  Hopefully we remember to pray to God to thank Him when we are joyful too.  We have spent the past several months torn between desperate and thankful conversation with God. 

Our Abby was with us for just four and a half days, but we’ve been learning from her since she was conceived.  Many parents of children with special needs say that they learn far more from their children than they ever teach them.  We agree.  In fact, we never had the opportunity to teach our precious girl anything, but she has helped us grow and learn in ways we never expected.

Abby, you brought your mother and father closer together as a couple and taught us how to love so much better than we ever could before.  You’ve reminded us that our family is the most important thing in the whole wide world, and that you and Connor are the most precious and amazing gifts God could ever have entrusted to us.  As we grieve for you we also thank God for you, every minute, of everyday. 

No big brother could have been more proud or more excited than Connor.  He loved you from the minute he discovered we were pregnant with you, correcting anyone who asked him about becoming a big brother, “Oh no, I ALREADY AM a big brother!”  He reminds us everyday that he IS your big brother, even though you’ve gone to Heaven.  And he’s right.  You were ours long before you were born and you will always be our baby girl.

We’re so grateful for the short time we had with you.  Each minute we spent with you was a blessing, for which we are so thankful.  We cherished your every single breath and we can still feel your soft skin against us as we held you in your final hours.  Not one second of your life was wasted or taken for granted.  Thank you for letting us love you and for leaving your imprint on our hearts and souls.  We will spend the rest of our days loving you and honoring you.

Abby, with the exception of having to leave you at the cemetery, I pretty much held it together today.  I didn’t want to upset your brother.  But my heart is so broken.  I’d give anything to put you back inside me where I could take care of you. I hope you are making friends and having fun with all the angel babies that you’re meeting in Heaven.