Finding Comfort

A few days ago I posted on Facebook that "it melts my heart to see Connor take one of Abby's blankets to bed with him".  As I expected, everyone thought it was about as sweet as I did.  I should mention the reason he had that particular blanket.  About two hours prior to bed, Connor informed me that he was very angry and going to break all of Abby's things; I thought that blanket seemed the most durable of those she'd received.  So, I let him thrash it around the room a few times until that got boring to him and he left it on the floor. That night before going into his room, he walked into Abby's, picked up the blanket, gave me a look, and said "I'm keeping this" as he climbed into his bed.

This is pretty representative of the struggle we're having these days.  We haven't started any formal sibling grief program, but it's next on the list of things to do.  Over all Connor is doing well; he's done fine in school and kept to a regular schedule.  He recognizes that he's upset and uses words like "sad" and "frustrated" to express himself, and we're all sad and frustrated, so he fits in quite well.  Like another HoPE family mentioned, it's not unusual to hold onto the material things that connect us to our children.  Right after we came home I held onto the outfit Abby wore in the hospital for a few days, just until it didn't smell like her anymore.  I probably looked silly, but sleeping with it was comforting.  This seems to bring some bit of comfort to Connor.  And seeing Connor cuddling with one of Abby's blankets bring a bit of comfort to me too.

Connor, sleeping with Abby's blanket from Threads of Love